Lama sudah aku pendam rasa hati nie.. Like seriously, I just can't take it anymore.. I think it's time for me to express everything that I felt .. Terbeban kot bila terlalu lama simpan and bila tak terluahkan menjadi dendam.. Masyallah...
Ok, let's recap... I've just finished my practicum but I never told you guys, here in my blog about my experience doing my practicum there right? Why? Because I didn't want to remember about it at all.. It was like.... arrgghhhh... I'm really stress when I was there..
No, I'm not writing this down to get sympathy. Ada lah few juniors asking me about my practicum's experience. What I do, how I write my log book, my report and all. I think I better write it down here, so people would stop asking me the same question again and again, opening the wound every time I try to close it.
At first, everything went well.. I've got very good colleagues where we spent most of our time together. I can say that only the first month I am happy. The problem is not about the working condition or the colleagues there or even the work that I've done for the company... But the thing that ruin my life and my mood is.....THE BOSS...
I know they are the boss.. Both of them are good, very ambitious but in the same time they didn't know how to appreciate their employees well. I know they are the boss, tapi as a boss that doesn't means they can do anything they like.. Betol la... if you all nak keje dengan diorang, the first thing that you need is "KENA TAHAN MAKI".. Bila bos ade je kat office, suasana berubah jadi diam, stress, not fun, and semua berdoa supaya bos keluar pergi mana-mana that day.
When they are not coming to the office.. We feel so relieve..
Pernah ada satu masa I felt so depressed plus that day I've got my menses. It really suck I told you. And the boss made me feel very angry, moody and I hate him so much at that time.. I go out alone.. I told him I want to do marketing. Yes, I go out and see clients but then I drove my car and I lepak at the beach. I call my boyfie - Azran, and I cried.
I cried so hard that time and I keep shouting at the beach. I just don't care kerana hanya melihat ketenangan laut hati aku menjadi tenang. Rasa bersalah sebab aku marah orang lain, tapi my azran yang terima tempias, but then aku rasa sangat lega. I know I'm being a bit stupid here, but you have no idea how it feels when people push you so hard and expect that you will become like him.. And just because you are graduated from the same Uni as mine doesn't mean that you can bullied me.
One of my colleagues pernah cakap "Sepanjang hidup org, org tak pernah kene marah mcm kene marah kat office tau". And byk kali juga lah aku nampak dia menangis dekat office.. Tapi dia tabah and kuat.. dan mampu bertahan walaupun gaji sikit.. Salute!
Aku bukannya jenis yang tak boleh kena marah or kene tegur.. Boleh.. if aku ada buat silap, aku accept semua teguran and kritikan.. Tapi cara beliau menegur tu tak kena gaya kot. Teguran yang menjatuhkan sekaligus buat aku rasa sangat malu. I have heart and feeling. I have dignity. I never ever want to meet a person like you anymore.. When I am working with you I felt so sad, blue, unhappy, miserable, and depressed!
An just remember bro. Tak selamanya kita ada di atas.. Hanya ALLAH sahaja yang berada di atas dan wajib kita sembah. Maybe today I am your kuli. Next time I will be your boss mana tahu. Hidup nie macam roda... And I believe rezeki ada di mana-mana.. And I am so glad that I am not working with you anymore.. I am so so sorry...
|We are just pieces of dandelion seed and wind will bring us to somewhere else|
"People will hate you, rate you, shake you and break you. But how strong you stand is what makes you."
p/s : Alhamdulillah lega... dah, takmo tanya lagi ok..:)